In the beginning, when autism first enters your life…you think it’s an ending. You fight it, you walk around in a haze, you let the tears form massive puddles and you start to give up because you don’t know what else to do. Helpless and overwhelming is what autism felt like to me once upon a time. In the beginning days of autism in your life, you don’t know what autism looks like, feels like, IS like so you stumble blindly as you try to gain your footing once again. It feels like that’s all you can do because autism is a gray zone, an unknown, an X factor that pushes you into the fear zone because autism is this unexpected opponent you never thought you’d have to step up to.
Looking back now, after ten years of becoming familiar with autism, I can finally see autism for what it is and, the crazy thing is, there simply came a day, around the time when he was eight, when I stopped fearing and hating autism. I have come to see that autism is many, many things but it is NOT an ending and it is nothing to fear or regret or hate.
Autism is not a failure.
Autism to me, today and looking back over a decade long journey, is simply a new way of looking at development and processing. It is an explicit way of raising and teaching kiddos. It absolutely keeps no schedule and cares nothing for socially acceptable norms. It essentially becomes a creative and trouble shooting way of parenting kids who are masterpieces and originals and unique in everything they do. It doesn’t mean they can’t or won’t, it simply means they may take a different path to do the thing in question.
The secret to autism is learning to see the journey with patience while looking at the big picture over the long run. Throwing out rule books and bench marks will become your best strategy and clean slates and empty canvases are the best gift you can offer your child. What I wish for each of you is that you throw out the fear and tears a lot sooner than I did and replace it with the kind of confidence that comes from knowing that autism is different but not less and certainly NOT impossible ❤