The truth is I really do love autism. I do. I love autism because it has changed me and made me one hundred times the person I was before my boy was gifted to my life. I accept and love autism because I accept that my boy is who he is meant to be, he is made exactly as he was meant to be made and the journey we are both on is about helping to strengthen his weaknesses and sharing his radiance. I don’t believe he is a mistake or that he needs to be cured. I don’t believe in lost puzzle pieces. I don’t believe there is any part of my boy that needs fixing.
You may not agree with me and that’s okay because, honestly, this is not the first time I have cut against the collective autism grain. Not the first time he and I have stood alone against autism and the majority speakers. For me and my boy, this is our autism, our journey, our one bold stand and I can only speak for our travels. I understand if you don’t see your journey the way we see ours. We have embraced traditional therapies as well as consistent discipline and structure but we have often rebelled against the well traveled paths, the flavors of the month, the trendy therapies and we have stood our ground educationally.
Despite the behavioral melt downs and emotional struggles, I will brazenly tell you I would not go back and change one thing if I could. I see him as such a gift and a blessing and, if granted just one wish, I would ask for no do-overs. He has brought radiance to our lives and I just don’t know who we would be without him but I’m certain we would be less. I am not sure who he will be “when he grows up” but I know he will continue to be brilliant no matter how close to or far away from perfection he may or may not be ♥. He will be perfectly himself and that will be enough.
Autism is just as beautiful as we let it be if we are fearless enough to let it be.
When I think of changing anything with autism or undoing it…I think, my goodness, there is so much I would lose, so much I wouldn’t know, so much I would be incapable of seeing and understanding. And then I realize…NO WAY…I would not change a thing. Different is indeed NOT less. Different can even be more and it can be brilliant if we let it be. That’s why I love autism…for all of its beautiful imperfection, for all the ways it grows the adults into better people and allows the child to be the teacher of some awe inspiring lessons. Autism is audacious like that and the audacious truth about autism is that it is brilliance, wrapped up in a mystery, just waiting to be unraveled if you are fearless enough to unlock the sparkle.