Reasons To Love Autism: Moment #34

Mom!” I could hear the yelling coming from the hallway. “I’ve killed my parallel self.”

Yelling does not phase me.  I am a pretty calm person and I do not yell back.  My children have figured out that they will have to wait momentarily until I can walk to where they are.  His statement was definitely intriguing to me so I started to walk to him.

“Buddy?” I asked as I began my walk from the kitchen to the back of the house.  And, truly, because very little shocks me anymore, there was hardly even a flutter in my voice as I asked the question that needed to be asked, “How on earth did you kill your parallel self?”

“Look, right here.”  My boy lifted the hand that held the Nerf gun and I could see, the Nerf dart had been shot into the exact spot that held his own reflection in the hall mirror. He had shot at his reflection and “killed” himself.

Sure enough, he had.  “Yes, you did, my love, you did just shoot your parallel self.”  I walked over to my boy and put my hand upon his head while at the same time I reached down to kiss the hair on his head.  I am not sure why I always kiss my children on the top of the head but I do. It just is.   And, then, as I often do, I asked him, “Do you know what a lucky mom I am?  You are such a remarkable boy.  You never stop amazing me.”

And, he doesn’t.  Not a day goes by when I do not stop to marvel at him.  His outlook, his perception, his creativity, his cleverness all continue to add to my thankfulness, my gratefulness.  I think autism and my son walk through life without our rule book in hand and it is because he sees life without the limitations that we so firmly internalize that he is able to be so unburdened by our blinders and rules.   The key for me is to let him be HIM and not weigh him down with the rule book that is so natural to me.  Some rules are necessary and some are not…but they have become comfortable to me.  And, again I am reminded, the rule book is my issue and not his.  What I have to remember is the more I keep my rules to myself, the more he shares his more splendid and sparkling view of life with me.

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