Sometimes it’s what he says and sometimes it’s the phrases and the word choices he uses. It’s always different but it’s always enlightening. These moments come at the most inopportune times. I happened to be driving home today after I picked him up from school. It started out as just a “what did you do today at school?” conversation but quickly turned into an open window into how his brain is wired.
The moment went like this:
It started with a progress report that listed an ‘F’ because of a missing assignment. It evolved into trying to determine how it happened and where the assignment was.
Mom: Buddy, did you turn in the assignment yet?
The Boy: What assignment?
Since we have memory issues, it’s not surprising when he falls completely out of a conversation but keeping the boy in the conversation at hand can sometimes be difficult and frustrating.
Mom: The homework we were just talking about that is listed in your ‘missing assignments’ page. It’s from your science class and it was due the day we went to the coast for your doctor’s appointment. We were just talking about it.
The Boy: I don’t have to do that assignment.
Mom: Buddy, think about it, remember it’s listed in your ‘missing’ assignments. I really think your teacher might be expecting it.
He was beginning to be frustrated not only with my questions but also with his own confusion.
The boy: Mom, can I have a minute to think about this? I need to go back and review my memories first.
And, he silenced me with that answer. So simple and yet so profound. He didn’t tell me he was confused or that he doesn’t remember. Those are the words and phrases that would have come to me. His minds rolls with more precision than my own in some moments and despite his memory challenges he is still left with more honest clarity than most people I know. I loved his answer today. I let him have some quiet time because I knew he truly was going to sit down and scroll back through his file of memories to reconstruct what happened and determine the answer.
Tomorrow, since we have the weekend to rest, I will ask him again and see what kind of information his memory file review has brought about. I always enjoy hearing about what he has gathered from the review.